If you read comic books around 1970 you probably saw the above ad over and over again. CBH reader Dave Stuckey was lucky enough to have the whole dollar (that was like 6 1/2 comics back then!) needed to join the Monster Fan Club and get all the "free" stuff mentioned in the ad. And we're all lucky that Dave still has this stuff 35 years later. Among the fabulous spooky treasures to arrive in young Dave's mailbox were these masks (sadly Dave has lost the third mask):
It's a bit hard to tell from the image but these are not 3-D masks. No, they are black and white photos of 3-D masks printed on paper (or cardstock -- Dave wasn't clear on this point).
EDIT: Dave confirms it, these mail-order cretins used paper not cardstock.
Here's the "life-size" Moon Monster that dominates the ad. Never mentioned is the fact that the monster would be a poster (and a black and white poster in 2 pieces at that).
Oh well, at least Dave got this handsome Monster Club membership card:
Hey, wait! Dave got the wrong card -- it's for the "Horror Fan Club." What a rip! Dave admits that he thinks all this junk is fun (and funnier) now but "... when I received a manilla envelope full of FOLDED PAPER, I was... well, crushed." A big Comic Book Heaven Thank You to Dave for sharing his pain and making today's post HORRIFYING! EXCITING! and, of course, THRILLING!
15 comments:
Ha! Thanks for answering some childhood questions. I often saw those ads and must say I was curious at the time.
This is one of the best blog posts I have ever read. Fascinating and hilarious. You always knew those damn things must be a scam, even as a kid. But you also always wondered what you would actually get. I love it!
Wow... after all these years, I can finally fell like I didn't miss out on anything.
That ad goes back at least as far as 1963 or -4, when I saw it in [i]Strange Planets[/i], a pirated EC comic that had been reprinted. My friend and I were enormously excited over the prospect of an actual six-foot moon monster--plus masks!--until his father warned us that they'd only be made of paper. It wasn't often that an adult was right about anything in those days (no day passed without five or six assertions that I'd outgrow comic books, for example), but he sure called that one right!
My unscientific guess is that nearly anything you could have ordered from a comic book from the 40s to the early 70s was likely to be much, much less than what you expected it to be. What a bunch of lousy thieves these mail order hustlers were, playing kids for suckers.
I sent off for a "terrifying remote-control ghost" as a kid, in spite of parental warnings. The result was, of course, a balloon wrapped in a sparse amount of white plastic. The remote-control was a string... I could make the ghost move up and down-- remotely!
For some reason, I thought I could (or at least should try to) frighten my father with the thing. Both he and my mom were pretty amused.
Matt
www.likelystories.com
Johnson Smith Company was the usual culprit. Amazingly I did send off for one item in the 70's that actually didn't suck. It was the "Oops, somebody missed" simulated turd. It actually looked very real and was made of somekind of compressed fibers, as opposed to fake looking molded plastic or rubber. Fooled my Grandma right away.
The POLARIS NUCLEAR SUB!! Does ANYONE have a picture of what it actually looked like (not the ad, of course)...
I've yet to see a single photo of the sub. I'm guessing it was such a colossal disappointment that it was best forgotten rather than captured for posterity.
Did a little research, a few people said it was basically an upside down box with windows cut out, with another piece of cardboard for the "control panel" with a few tiny battery operated lights on it. I guess the torpedos were cardboard too, probably used a rubber band to "fire" them....
My mail away experience was a little different. I sent for the “Monster From Outer Space”, who was similar in appearance to the moon monster and peddled around the same time (see link).
http://www.tomheroes.com/Comic%20Ads/classic%20ads/monsters_from_space.htm
As a really little kid, I recall counting out 125 pennies and putting them inside an envelope and hand delivering it to the postman. He obviously saw my excitement for sending away for some “thing” and kindly fixed everything up for me, as I later received my monster. I wish I could thank him. It was a yellow balloon. Yes, a balloon. It had the same graphic as seen in the link printed on the surface. The balloon also came with a die-cut, cardboard base that looked like feet, which I think was supposed to stabilize the monster after it was blown up. The knot of the balloon went through a small hole in the feet. As the ad reads, the monster did wobble and teeter. That thing would never stand straight up on the cardboard base. As for talking, I don’t recall receiving a “specially designed instrument” to make it talk. May have been a device that squealed as air was released through the balloon opening. My dad gave me the balloon and cardboard feet out of the package, so I’m not sure what it was mailed in or what came with it. It was popped the same day I’m sure.
Scratchline54@aol.com
One option for re-creating the moon monster may be to take it to Kinkos, who have scanning devices made for scanning large documents (architectural drawings, etc). The scans can then be printed and reduced in size. The two smaller scans of the top and bottom of the moon monster can then be taped and scanned as a single document, which would make one-piece poster/file. Kinkos will also make a file from your original scans, which can be taken to a print shop for reproduction. This also opens up the possibilities for coloration, etc. I work with one of the largest graphic reproduction companies in the U.S. and would be glad to assist with the effort.
Scratchline54@aol.com
Did you ever recreate the moon monster
Are you referring to this: http://scottsaavedra.blogspot.com/2007/10/free-and-worth-every-penny.html
Did anyone recreated the moon monster poster or is anybody selling his please let me know at faroutscience@aol.com
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